Back to School and other Complications

Happy Holidays? Not so much; for me anyway. The last week of my vacation was pretty much the worst week for me. J and I fought for four days. These were not little fights but big arguments where he said anything he could to hurt me. Not to say someone was right or wrong and I'm not perfect but low blows are not my style. I trusted him with my secrets and feelings and whenever we have these catastrophic fights, he takes the information that he is privy too and the uses it against me. He has lied to me about the same thing for over six months. He isn't cheating but an eating disorder is just as bad. He thought that he could hide it from me if we were married. That isn't something I'm looking for. When fall semester started, I tried talking with him about my difficulties in becoming solely his. College is a ginormous Pavlovian response for me and men. It just kind of happened that way. I don't think anyone plans that.
Onto other worse things. I was driving back to school and my engine stalled out on me on the highway. That was fun. It was windy enough that I didn't hear the engine shut off. My dad thinks there was water in the line. Friday morning my hard drive died. Gone forever. It's gone to sludge-hammer-smashy-happy-time. I moved back into my dorm on Sunday and it was raining. I proceeded to accidentally drop four hundred dollars worth of book into the mud. But life has gotten better since then.
I've gone out twice in the past week. My best friend and I justified it by saying it was exercise and it was. Wednesday night I got groped by some Guido motherfucker who goes to F&M. He wants to hang out sometime. We might. The two nights ago I met a high school Spanish teacher. Nothing too exciting there but I do like him. Stupid me thinking I could actually ever catch a guy who wants more than sex. I spent last night with B. He did try to have sex with me but he respected my saying no. I want to sleep with him. I really do but I didn't want to know him for less than 24 hours before doing so. I even Internet stalked B because he wanted me to come home with him the first night I met him.
I have found a pure man in the past week. When my computer was kaput, there was a cute guy who worked at the help desk. C likes me for me. I think. And not what I can do. C is a two years younger than me though. And I don't know how I feel about that.
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I hate you school. I have so much work to do. I think Analytical chemistry is going to blow the big one. I feel so overwhelmed by everything. I don't know how I will manage with everything. I'm already about being able to do it all.